Saturday, October 18, 2008

Thanks Adam!

I will do my best to honor my new position as Poster Child for the wonderful site that is called Right now that responsibility just means I'm going to keeping paying attention to your inspired words . And maybe comment, if motivated. Please let me know what more can be done. I'm here for you, Hermano. :-)

Forgive the Author for getting loopy with her scribblings tonight. (Bah! Using the word "scribblings" when referring to an online blog just makes me shake my head) I'm currently sitting in a haze of leftover party time amazing amazement, 2 hours of sleep, 6 hours choreographing for 58 middle schoolers, a solid 8 hours of driving while fighting to stay awake, and yet another speed warning/cop scare. (I abhor cops with a passion unparalleled...and it never fails. Same place, same flashing lights, EVERY time. Bucyrus or Bust! ) This girl is eleven all new flavors of exhausted. Minus buttered popcorn flavor, of course.

I kind-of, sort-of, remember why I have boundaries and a set routine and nice things like that now when it comes to my career. I hardly ever plan ridiculous and crazy escapades the the one I just outlined to you anymore. Doing a full day's work in Ft. Wayne beginning at 9am after a night of having a really really good time is something I did regularly when I was, like, 25. OMG.

Read: No more of this nonsense. I'm done overbooking. I joke about it, but it's an area of my life that is in serious need of new assessment. I feel more than a little spent right now, and not in a comfortable or fulfilling kind of way. More like a compromising and weakening kind of way. I'm not complaining...I made more than enough compensation today to make my trip worthwhile and even necessary, and then it was mostly about the paycheck. I only recognize this because after spending time with so many of my favorite people last night -- if I had my way-- I would want to spend the morning after sleeping into the afternoon, getting up to delicious comfort food, and lazing around all day with friends with nothing to think about.

It's also important to note that not one of my friends were available to hang out today anyways, even if I had been. Maybe this means we're all grown up to the point that we just don't get to do stuff like that anymore. Or, maybe it means we're ALL over-extended and we just need to go escape and spend 6 weeks backpacking, camping, beaching, skiing, to Remote Destinations Untouched by Man. And etc and etc and etc. Maybe that would help us to slow down the the breakneck pace of our lives as we know them to be now.

OR I KNOW!!!!! WE SHOULD GO SKYDIVING!!!! Perfect. Done.

My ultimate, for-real goal: To have Friday night, all day Saturday and all day Sunday with no work-related responsibilities. I know, I traditional and banal. But also normal, restorative, and needed.

OK anyways. On to business. I've got a lot to catch up on! Inspired by Adam's weekly round-up, which was in turn inspired by his friend --whose name escapes me -- I will do the same format.

My Week, in a Peek:

1.) I saw a man hanging off a bridge on Wednesday night. This the first and last event from this week that am going to mention. I feel really strange about the whole thing.

LA LA Land does us the favor of creating dramatic and exciting TV shows and movies that commonly show someone on the brink of some major crisis. They take it to the extreme and sensationalze it. I've seen more than enough scenes involving high rises, window ledges, and "DON'T JUMP!!!!!"'s to satisfy me in a lifetime.

There is once or twice in your real life in which you hear about someone who actually took the plunge, in a very unsensational way. The last time I had an experience with Suicides and High Altitudes was two years ago on Thanksgiving...he was a boy I used to teach. He didn't survive. I heard about it from a second-hand source. It was an emotional, messy, dramatic thing. I felt the severe impact of it, even being 6 states removed from it.

And, this most recent experience I had was just odd...not quite as drama filled as you would expect...more like the following.

Tara:"Oh, look Tara. There's a guy hanging off that bridge."
Tara: Huh.

Actual Recap: I was driving home Wednesday from a wonderful night of normal nightly routine. I was preoccupied, thinking about my awesome kids and in a very positive mood. Suddenly:: Traffic Jam.

Like any other human being who pays attention, I tried to see what the source of all the hold-up was. The presence of four cop cars in one place was no new thing to see...the odd part was that the officers were all outside their cars, looking up.

So, duh. I look up too. And what do I behold but a man hanging off the wrong side of the chain-link fence on a bridge that runs over I-76.

Drumroll...the ending? I had to keep on driving, right on pass. And that's the end.

I know, I know. So disappointing..I feel the same way. It was just a really quick, short-lived moment in time I don't think will ever be erased from my memory. I don't know what happened to the guy, and probably will never find out if he jumped and lived, jumpd and died, or if my good old buddies the Coppers were able to do a good deed and coax him down. The only thing I know is that it's no accident that he ended up on the wrong side of the fence. That guy was on a mission. And all I was able to do was drive by, and wonder about the who/what/where/when/, and most importantly, why.

I felt like the way my brother did when we watched the end of "You've Got Mail." You don't SEE a final wedding scene, or days of wedded bliss, or day-to-day euphoria of being with your Numero Uno Person and in a general place of being, you know, IN are only given an indication of a hope for it. Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan literally get into an elevator holding hands and looking at each other with discovery and recognition. Happy Child in tow. The elevator door closes. You expect the cliched joyous wedding scene to follow immediately...but you suddenly get the CAST LIST. I agree with kind of leaves you hanging. Just a bit.

All else aside, I really hope the dude on the bridge is at least in a better place, wherever he may be at this moment. I am grateful for the healthy jolt of perspective he gave me, sans the happy ending. He may just have been an angel.

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