Just got back from mom's, where I was helping out for the big Easter tomorrow. "Helping out" is *code* for a bit of good soul satisfying conversation, a little bit of watching her cook, filling up salt shakers, mooching out of her fridge, and letting her spoil my pooch -- which she seems to think she has co-ownership of. She can't wait to be a grandmother....good thing my sister-in-law is due today, and is really going to pop at any moment. I'm excited for even more new blood in the family. Change is always good, for change's sake.
Had one of those "oh-crap-I'm-getting-asked-out" moments today, which thankfully turned out to be nothing more than getting asked where the best ballroom dance place is in town. Put me in an unfamiliar place for a good 8 minutes. The guy makes my coffee, and although I love random awkward moments, I don't love them 5 days a week's worth. Why is it the hardest thing in the world to say to someone something honest like, "I'm sorry, my coffee addiction is more important to me right now than getting to know you better." I had some other good ones thought up, a couple of which were at least %15 truthful. Awful? Maybe. I had obviously made a false assumption about his intentions though - imagine that - and the conversation sailed by without a hitch. See, assumptions are silly. My girlfriend was with me and thought the same thing I did....so the notion wasn't entirely made up by me. Good to know if that had been the case, and I had choked, she was right there for me with her own escape plan.
This is part of the joys of being actually vulnerable to getting asked out...you don't have that safety net "I have a significant other" go-to excuse. Not a bad thing - I enjoy both being in a couple, and the very different sort of sense of autonomy that comes from being in the place I am now. Love it all. And at this point, knowing better than to not to let any grass grow under my feet is needed. It's time to move forward. It's simply change, which to me is the most natural and necessary thing in the world.
Can't wait to throw myself back into work next week. Spring break has been a much needed chance to renew, re-energize, and reevaluate. Looking forward to family time tomorrow, too...giant throngs of babies and all. Will most likely spend most of the day either teaching my cousin's bright little 6-yr. old daughter Taylor new tunes on the piano, trying not to step on one of 7 or more toddlers all under the age of 2, or listening to my cousins all talk about parenting techniques, and the latest *fascinating* things their kids did.
Full moon tonight, and it's absolutely stunning. A good reminder of part of the message of this weekend...putting others' needs before your own. I don't really get the analogy I just made between the moon and selflessness, but hey. It was a reminder to me. Jesus, the man of flesh, walked towards his own death in faith and love. He died in the place he did, and to him, such a state of pain and agony was nothing more than a mosquito bite in the grand scheme of the place he knew he was going to.
Regardless of whether you take this fable literally or figuratively, the basis of the lesson is the same...it's still dying to self. To forgive, and forgive, and forgive, and forgive, and forgive, and forgive, even in the face of such unimaginable injustice and ignorance.
Back to the regualar scheduled program.....Tommy Boy :-)