Friday, May 22, 2009

if I close my eyes, it's all the same.

When I am talking to somebody there are always two conversations going on. The first is on the surface; it is small talk about music or TV or work or whatever it is our mouths are saying. The other is beneath the surface, on the level of the heart, and my heart is either communicating that I like the person I am talking to or I don't. In my life, I want both conversations to be true. That is, I am supposed to speak truth in love. If both conversations are not true, God is not involved in the exchange between myself and someone else, we are on our own, and on our own, we will lead people astray. I have learned if you talk to people with your mouth, and your heart does not love them, you are like a person standing there smashing two cymbals together. You are only annoying everyone around you.

I sense things are different with me. I'm happy. I think if you live your life with a lot of negative tension flipping around in your gut, all you do is have judgementalism and pride and loathing of other people. Set free from this state, you are free to love. You don't have to discipline anybody, judge anybody, and you can treat everybody as if they are your best though they are rock stars or famous poets, and though they are amazing. To me, people are amazing. I love that it's not my responsibility to change somebody. My part is just to communicate love and approval.

It is always the simple things that change our lives. Those things never happen when you are looking for them to happen. Life will reveal answers at the pace life wishes to do so. You feel like running, but life is on a stroll...this is just the way it works.

Like I said in a previous post, we view so many relationships as commodities. What metaphors do we use in relationships? We valuepeople. We investin people. Relationships can be bankrupt. People are priceless.

We use people like money. If somebody is doing something for us, offering us something, be it gifts, time, popularity, or what have you, we feel they have value, we feel they are worth something to us, and, perhaps, we feel they are priceless. With love, we withhold affirmation from the people who do not agree with us, but we lavishly finance the ones that do.

Love doesn't work like money. It's not a commodity. When we barter with it, we lose.

What I'm coming to learn is that true inner strength doesn't come from giving love, it comes from receiving it just as much. Love will never change us if we don't accept it.

Stay tuned for something a little lighter. I kind of feel like souffle-ing my blog today, but I just went balls out a triple-layer cheesecake. Metaphorically speaking, of course.

Tomorrow is National Super Hero Day. Celebrate accordingly.


jscholles said...

I am a rock star!

Anonymous said...

tara, this is BEAUTIFUL, and so perfect for where i am in life right now. would you mind if i repost this on my blog? (address below, with nom de pen :) ).

so well written!

Tara said...

Of course you may post on yours :-) Thanks for your words. I was so enjoying reading your own blog, but I couldn't for the life of me find the name behind the writer!